Marriage the Prophetic Covenant

Saturday, November 25, 2006

But I don’t LOVE him anymore! Who said you had to?

Women of Faith, you are buying a lie if you believe that marriage fulfillment is dependent on your feelings toward your husband. There is no scriptural imperative for a woman to love her husband. This is not true for men. They are commanded to love their wives. More on that later.

Your only requirement is to Respect and Honor him in his role as your husband. This doesn’t mean if he’s nice, or if he brings flowers, or if he does the dishes with you. You must respect and honor him because he is your husband, a representative of God in your home.

I don’t doubt for a minute that he doesn’t act such he deserves it. I’ll bet he does really dumb things sometimes that tick you off. But, you still can respect and honor him; even if!

If you will make the decision to do just those two things in your marriage you will save yourself a great deal of trouble. For instance, when you are having a bad day, when he’s a jerk, when you wish he’d drop dead, when he does something really stupid you still can honor and respect him. You might not FEEL love right then. You might not even feel LIKE! You honor and respect a Judge in a courtroom. You honor and respect a boss who is a turkey sometimes. So, you can honor and respect a husband who’s only redeeming quality is that he is there.

If you love him, if you treasure him, if you want him, that’s even better. But don’t buy the lie that you must LOVE him at all times. You can’t, he must, you can’t and you should not feel odd about variability in feelings. You’re normal. You are hard wired to act this way.

Here’s the promise. If you will just Honor and Respect him the other things will follow. Even if they never do, you will have a more fulfilling life than you might without the whole “Love” thing as your focus. Give him a reputation in your marriage to live up to. What have you got to lose, your pride?

Here is a promise hammered out on the anvil of experience, if you will make the decision to stay in the marriage, to give it your best, to really give it your best without expectation of reciprocation, you will absolutely find yourself falling in love with in a deeper more vital way with this man than you ever did before. You may have heard the old adage that if you act as if you were brave, enthusiastic or any other external emotion then the feelings will follow.

Act as if he were the most wonderful person in the world, pretend to start. I promise in a few years you will wonder why you ever thought about leaving this man.

If you have wondered “what about me?” This is all about you. Your life on this earth will be richer and deeper if you start to find the things about your man which you admire, respect and can honor. Then as time goes on you will love him.

To know know know him is to love love love him. It’s true I tell you. Know him, and learn how to love him all over again. Love is better the second time around if it’s with the same man.


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